Monthly Reflections – February

If you were with me back at the beginning of 2018 you might remember I set quite a few goals for myself to bring in the New Year. I’ve never been a particularly strong goal setter, that’s not to say that I haven’t tried, more that I tend to get pretty lazy and can’t be bothered actually thinking it through properly and in a way that is actually achievable. I’ve also never bothered to track progress so it becomes pretty easy, pretty quickly to cheat on myself and soon enough it’s as if the goal never existed.

This year I went through my goals a little more thoroughly and for the most part, I’ve actually been working on sticking to them. I recently discovered the art of bullet journaling and this has helped immensely. The best part is that I’m holding myself responsible when I don’t stick to a goal or plan. I was thinking about this recently and about how I can push myself even harder to stick to my goals and it became obvious that the best way is to review and re-evaluate. I thought about doing this weekly but decided that starting out that frequently is really just setting myself up to fail.

So here is my first monthly reflection…

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Time for Unrest

Curled up in bed, my head resting on his shoulder I felt a single tear flow down my cheek. The glow of the laptop screen lit up my face as he looked down, aware my breathing pattern had changed. I caught his eye and the wall holding back the flood burst, the tears now streaming, messy and unrestrained as they tracked their way down to my chin.

The screen in front of us gave no clues of what could be wrong. But without a word, he understood. This wasn’t just a film, this was my life. An eerie comparison, the first time I’ve visually experienced someone going through the same pain as my own. The music echoed through my mind, haunting my thoughts as I cried for all those who have suffered.

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