So earlier this week I kicked off the wedding series of this blog and introduced you all to the concept of the three day chronic illness friendly wedding. I know. Those are all words that should NEVER be used in a sentence together. It’s an oxymoron – THREE DAYS + CHRONIC ILLNESS + WEDDING… what am I thinking??
Okay, seriously, I’m not sure how helpful this is going to be for anyone. I’m going to jump right in and say it, I totally do not think this wedding planning stuff is for everyone. I’m a bit particular and I absolutely love to plan and arrange and throw parties and (cough) “show off”… I’m loving every minute and am totally in my element but if planning is not your thing, the term stressful might be an understatement.
So our wedding venue is basically in the middle of nowhere, there’s a tiny town nearby (no shops) and then the next city is 30min drive minimum. There’s pretty much no phone reception and there’s no mains power… I’m also based in a different city about 6 hours drive away from the venue so there’s no chance of meeting wedding vendors in person to see if we get along. Need I say more? . . .
Here’s how we plan to make this work:
Buy online –
Online shopping is 100% a lifesaver for me, I can sit in the comfort of my bed and find everything I could possibly imagine I might need. From florists, to photographers, caterers, accessories and even my wedding dress (no kidding I found it for less than $500NZD on Etsy…). Buying online not only conserves energy but it has also saved us tonnes of money, take my dress for example. And also time – imagine how much time it would have taken to book appointments for dress shops, try on different styles, probably decide nothing was right for me, and then heaven forbid (told you I’m particular) decide that I’d be better off making it myself… you want to know how long it took me to find the perfect dress online? About a week. And most of that was debating whether I was willing to trust that something online would fit me when it arrived (Spoilers: it fits perfectly).
Use your connections –
I mentioned that our venue is in the middle of nowhere, guess how much we’re paying to use it… $0. The power of FRIENDS! Not only is our venue free for the entire weekend, we’ll probably go up the full week prior and take our time to enjoy being there, camping and setting up at our own pace. It also means there is a lot more freedom about what is allowed or not allowed at the venue. I know, we’re not all lucky enough to have a family friend that owns the perfect, scenic farm for us to get married on… but this isn’t the only way you can request help from friends. Maybe all you need them to do is come along and help set up, maybe they’re going to build you an arch, or maybe they’re like my Mum, have wanted to be a celebrant for a while and now have the perfect final push to actually send in that application that they’ve been thinking about for years. Maybe you know someone creative who could make your bouquet? Or your cake? Hell, if you have to, make the most of your connections connections! We’ll be enquiring with caterers that are “friends of a friend” and our cake maker is someone my Mum goes to scrapbooking classes with. People are all great at their own thing and so far I’ve found that people really really want to help out! Let them!
Start early –
I made my first booking almost a year and a half prior to our wedding date. It’s worked wonders on my mental health because it means that I don’t need to panic about anything. I’ve asked most of my vendors when they usually start booking out and I know that as long as I get in before then I’ll be fine. This has also helped the bank account – I’m keeping track of how much we’re spending and when I looked at the total the other day I was stunned! It doesn’t feel like we’ve spent anything at all because it’s been so spread out over time. The reality is though, we have already covered a huge portion of our costs. The last thing that I want is to be stressed about meeting deadlines. By starting early I’m ensuring that I can work at my own pace, get stuff done when I feel well enough and that closer to the date any money and time we have left can go on the finishing touches and making sure it’s just the way we want it.
It’s still early days yet but I’m learning so much about the wedding planning process! I can’t wait to share more as I get stuck in.
How did you keep your wedding chronic illness friendly?