Isn’t it funny how our minds like to collect completely awful things and remind us of them at every chance. When you cast your mind back and try to bring up certain memories the first things that pop up (especially when trying to make these memories specifically about chronic illness) are scary or tragic. They’re painful and big and not at all the kind of memory intended. And it’s not that there aren’t good memories too, it’s just simply that the scary ones get deemed ‘more impressive’, ‘more appropriate for the category’, ‘more worth telling’.
Truth is, I’m technically still undiagnosed. I gave up chasing a diagnosis a long time ago. I’d well and truly worked out that I had many of the symptoms of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis and I had access to none of the resources to chase a diagnosis. I certainly didn’t have the money to be attending specialist appointments over and over.
I know I’ve said told this story before, and I’ll probably tell it again – which, to be honest, only emphasizes the point I’m about to make.
Have your reactions to others’ illnesses changed? The short answer … yes.